Dear Ms. Kern,

My wife and I disagree on the proper way to get those last few morsels of food onto one’s fork. She insists that it is OK to use a piece of bread as a pusher, but I was taught that one’s utensils were to be used for this purpose. Who is correct?

T.K., Wayne, PA

Dear T.K.,

You are both correct depending on the style of eating you are using, American or European. To quote from my booklet, Tips on Modern American Dining Etiquette, under the heading, How to Eat Certain Foods, and under the food, Peas,

"These are a little difficult to deal with if you are eating American style. The best way to eat them is to push them onto your fork with a little piece of your roll. Never use your fingers!!! If you are eating European style, you may spear the little devils with your fork or turn your fork around in your (left) hand and use your knife to push the peas onto your fork."

In both my booklet and in my video, Modern American Dining and Entertaining Etiquette, I explain in detail how to eat properly whether you use American or European style dining etiquette.

R.K.

Dear Ruth,

My wife tells me it isn’t proper to ask for ketchup for my steak when we are in a good restaurant. I like ketchup on my steak! Who is correct?

P.H., Chicago, IL

Dear P.H.,

If you like ketchup on your steak, you should have it; however, to quote from my booklet, Tip No. 234 states, "No sophisticated person would ever order catsup or steak sauce with his meal in a formal restaurant!"

Then Tip No. 235 states, "No one should ever start salting his food hysterically before even trying it either! At a fine restaurant, the chef will commit suicide if someone ruins his creation by adding additional spices!"

At a good restaurant, the chefs really do take pride in their work and the prices of the food reflect not only the quality of the food, but the expertise with which it is prepared. The taste of good meat, such as is served in our fine restaurants in Chicago, would be ruined by the addition of catsup.

Catsup is good on hamburgers!!

R.K.

Dear Ms. Kern,

I will be attending a formal dinner with some of the professors from my college. I was raised rather casually as far as dining etiquette was concerned. Can you give me a crash course on how I should conduct myself at this dinner. I don’t want to look unsophisticated.

B.C., Houston, Texas

Dear B.C.,

Don’t feel alone about having been raised casually and not being aware of proper dining etiquette. Most of the people in modern America have been raised as you have been. I was born a couple of years before the "baby boomers" and raised in a very strict and structured environment where the rules of etiquette, dining and social, were known and observed.

I wrote my booklet and produced my video about dining etiquette when I realized that Americans were now ready to learn the rules of dining etiquette that I was taught when I was young.

Here are the four basic rules of dining etiquette that you need to know:

1. You work from the outside in on your utensils.
2. You work from the bottom up on your glassware.

 

3. Your bread and butter plate is always on your left.

 

4. Put your napkin on your lap and don’t gobble!

If you want to get into the nitty-gritty of dining etiquette, you may order my booklet and/or my video.

Good luck at your dinner!

R.K.

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