In preparation for Ruth’s May seminars, she set her dining room table for a Spring Luncheon and invited Susan Thiess, president of the Barrington Newcomers, and Sue Geshwender, president of the Barrington Junior Women, over to see it and to pose for a publicity shot.

The following are the questions that Ruth asked the Barrington Newcomers at the seminar.

1. My teenager refuses to use his napkin or to eat his food properly. When he was young, I did everything I could to give him instructions on proper dining etiquette. It is a good idea for me to try to ignore his general lack of table manners and to hope he will eventually remember my teachings when the time comes that he needs to know about these things.
2. My husband and I are invited to be guests at a dinner party at his boss’s home. I am nervous about having dinner with his boss and his wife because they are very formal people and I am not used to having formal meals. I have heard that the best thing to do in a situation like this is to follow the hostess’s lead.
3. The Consul General from France and his wife have invited my husband and me to their home for dinner. The invitation says 7:00 p.m. I assume that dinner will be around 8:00 p.m., so we should plan to arrive fairly close to 7:00 p.m. so we can enjoy a cocktail hour before dinner is served.
4. It is not necessary to send a thank you note after you have been entertained in a private home or at a restaurant if you call a few days after the event to say thank you.
5. At a very large wedding reception or party, it is not necessary to go up to the host and hostess to say good-bye before you leave.
6. I always stand when I am being introduced but some of my friends remain seated and do not even shake hands with the people to whom they are being introduced. I feel they are being rude.
7. My husband and I are invited to a party and the invitation states that the attire is dressy casual. I assume that means no blue jeans or sequins, but everything else in between in OK.
8. I am a businesswoman who entertains clients on a regular basis. Recently my boss showed up at the restaurant where I was having lunch with my client. The correct way for me to introduce my boss and my client is, "Joe, I would like to introduce Mr. Frank Neruda to you. Frank’s company orders all those PC’s from us."
9. My teenager is on the phone constantly. My husband has given him several warnings, but he continues to abuse his use of the phone. My husband now gets on the phone when he won’t hang up and tells his caller that the phone conversation is over for the evening. This is a rude way to handle this situation.
10. I had a party in my home and one of the couples showed up with their three young children. I had not indicated that this was a party where children were invited and my own children were being put to sleep upstairs by a babysitter. It was not rude of me to tell my guest this fact.
11. I bring my cell phone with me wherever I go and always have it turned on so that I do not miss any calls. This is the ‘90’s and it is OK to do this.
12. It is not rude to apply lipstick at the table after the meal if it is just lunch with the girls.
13. I have received an invitation to a large party. It is OK to call my friend to see if we can go to the party together.
14. My husband’s company is having a party and all the spouses are invited. I know that some of the employees are not doing a good job for the company and soon will be let go. I do not need to socialize with these people.