Seminar for
The Barrington Junior Women's Association
May 5, 1998

Ruth presented a seminar for the Barrington Junior Women's Association on May 5th at their meeting which was held in the auditorium of the Barrington Park District facility. At this seminar, Ruth had a very formal table set up with utensils for a seven-course meal. She explained the use of each utensil, glass, plate, etc. and even went into the etiquette about finger bowls.

The audience had many questions about etiquette, especially about how and when to start teaching kids about etiquette. Ruth is producing a video which will show how to teach children etiquette. The video will be titled, Etiquette for Kids and should be available in the summer of 1999.

Susan Geshwender, the president of the group thanks Ruth for her seminar. Following is the letter Susan sent Ruth after her seminar calling Ruth a "gifted public speaker!" Susan is a "gifted letter writer!"

Etiquette Questions for the Barrington Junior Women

1. It is a good idea to wait to teach my children etiquette and table manners until they are old enough the realize the importance of knowing these things such as when they are about to graduate from college and enter the work force.
2. My six-year-old wants to help me set the table for dinner, but he should be out playing with his friends at his age.
3. My husband has just taken a new job in a city where we do not know anybody except his boss. His boss has not invited us over to his house to meet his wife yet, but is it proper to invite them over to our home for dinner to break the ice.
4. My husband's company is having a party with all the spouses invited. The invitation does not specify attire, but the party will be held on a Friday night after business hours. I may assume the proper attire should be business suits for the men and women.
5. My husband's company is going through a major change. There have been some very unpleasant things that have happened between the partners recently and I really do not care to have anything to do with many of them or their wives. Unfortunately, I am expected to attend a partner and spouse meeting soon. Is it better for me not to speak to the people that I do not care for at this meeting rather than to say something unpleasant.
6. I am a business woman and will be attending a convention with my husband. Some of my clients will be at the meeting as well as the president and other employees of the company. I know that my husband, the president and other members of my company should be introduced to my client because he is the most important person. I should, therefore, mention my client's name first in the introduction.
7. When I am introduced at a business function of my husband's, I do not feel that I need to get up and shake hands because I am a lady and I was taught that ladies do not stand when introduced.
8. You have sent invitations to a party in your home and clearly indicated that you wanted your guests to R.S.V.P. Some of your guests have not responded. You should never call them to see if they are able to come because you would embarrass the for not having responded.
9. You are hosting a large party in your home. It is imperative that you stand by the door a greet each guest as he or she arrives so that they will feel welcome in your home.
10. You have brought a hostess gift to a private party with a thank you note tucked inside. It is nice but certainly not necessary for you to send another thank you note to the host and hostess.
11. You are invited to come to dinner at an American home. The invitation states 7:00PM. You think that is pretty early to be having dinner so you plan to arrive about 7:45PM
12. You are a guest at a large party and have decided to leave. It is nice but not necessary to seek out the host and hostess and thank them for the evening before you leave.
13. You are sent an invitation for a large charity fundraiser. You do not care to attend so you throw the invitation in the garbage. Your girlfriend is upset that you did not call her to give an explanation as to why you could not attend because she had written a personal note letting you know how much she and her husband wanted you to be there. You did not make a social faux pas by not calling because you receive so many of these invitations that you cannot possibly respond to all of them.
14. I can't seem to get my kids out of their blue jeans. They want to wear them everywhere, including to church. The minister is reluctant to impose a dress code probably because he wants to save souls and doesn't care how his congregation looks. I should insist my kid's dress in more formal clothes for church, at least, as a way of showing respect to the institution and to the God we worship.